I am finally coming up for air....and it's May. It just doesn't seem possible, the world keeps turning and I feel like I'm in some sort of time warp where everything centers around "getting through" chemo and then recuperating afterwards. As you probably know, I had my second round of chemo last week. Even though the symptoms were the same, I am happy to report NO headaches this time.
My resolve suffered a little by the third day, I got really dishearten in the chemo room. Looking around at all the patients and it dawns on me that I don't want to be there...and I know none of them want to be either....and to be honest, I don't even know how I managed to go back on the fourth day at all. No amount of books or magazines helped that day. That doesn't sound very positive does it? Not every day is a good one, that's for sure. On Friday, they added a Nuelasta shot that is suppose to help my body keep my white blood cells up...we'll see when I have labs tomorrow.
I am still feeling weak, but I am going to be working in my booth tomorrow....poor thing, I haven't been in two weeks! I am moving in a beautiful vanity that I found, I'll take some pictures for you. :)
My resolve suffered a little by the third day, I got really dishearten in the chemo room. Looking around at all the patients and it dawns on me that I don't want to be there...and I know none of them want to be either....and to be honest, I don't even know how I managed to go back on the fourth day at all. No amount of books or magazines helped that day. That doesn't sound very positive does it? Not every day is a good one, that's for sure. On Friday, they added a Nuelasta shot that is suppose to help my body keep my white blood cells up...we'll see when I have labs tomorrow.
I am still feeling weak, but I am going to be working in my booth tomorrow....poor thing, I haven't been in two weeks! I am moving in a beautiful vanity that I found, I'll take some pictures for you. :)
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Hi Michelle: Honey, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. It really must be disheartning to have to be in the present when it looks and seems so scary. I certainly can't know exactly what you are feeling, but I did go through by my daughter's side and she had some really bad days but she is having really good ones now. It's easy to say to keep your spirits up but you will handle it like you have to. You are a very strong lady..I'm thinking of you..Judy
ReplyDeleteI've been a reader of your blog for a while, but have been away for a while and didn't know what you were going through. I must say, that you are vary brave. Not many can go through what you're dealing with and be able to blog about it like this. Keep on smiling and being creative.
ReplyDeleteSending a great big hug and prayers your way Michelle. You are doing what you have to do, when you have to do it, but you don't have to like it. I think you are one incredibly brave woman even if you don't always feel that way. Hoping being at your booth puts a bit of 'regular' in your not so regular day.
ReplyDeleteMichelle: I'm sorry that last week was so rough and I'm glad that you have a break this week. I hope that you have fun working in your booth and I'm thinking positive thoughts about your white blood cell count! Praying that you get some good news there. Take care! Tricia
ReplyDeleteYou surely don't need to be apologetic about losing your resolve after day 3 of a week of chemo! You completed the week, and I(and many others) are praying for you to be able to do things beyond yourself, by the strength of Christ. I wept with you and for you while I read your last post and prayed that your boys, your husband, and your dear mil will be a real support and encouragement to you. I know they are all hurting for you, too.
ReplyDeleteI sure wish Chicagoland wasn't so far from Joplin--I've been looking for a vanity for 2+ yrs!!
I LOVE your cute little monkey slippers! Everytime you look down and see them smiling up at you, think of all the people who are praying for you!! Sending you love and hugs!~~Merri Jo
Been praying for you and wondering about you too. My BIL started chemo yesterday so I feel like I know a little more about what he might be going through because of you and your open heart. Thank you for sharing your life during this time. You just never know how much your words can help someone and give them comfort.....keep staying strong because God's on your side!! Blessings my friend
ReplyDeleteAndrea xo
Hang in there Michelle. It may seem like time is standing still but we're all moving through life together. You just had to get off the path for a while and take a breather. Carol
ReplyDeleteMichelle...hang in there...the fact that you are working your booth tomorrow speaks volumes about your strength the fortitude. As always praying for you!
ReplyDeleteHugs and prayers sent your way...
ReplyDeleteThanks for continuing to post even when you
really don't feel like it...
My mom started her first round of chemo today..
we are following your progress in the battle..
Hi Michelle, I'm with Merri Jo if Joplin wasnt so dang far I would meet you at your booth this weekend. Hang tuff!
ReplyDeleteYou are stong! You can do it! When you have a bad day think about all the good days ahead of you. God loves you! I am praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm such a huge fan of yours. You are creative and original and your style is beyond words gorgeous. I bookmarked many of your photos well before I had ever seen your blog. When I finally found who had styled the tablescapes I had seen, I've been glued to your website ever since. I wanted to send my thoughts, prayers and good vibes your way. I have no clue what you are going through but I feel heart sick that you are hurting. I had to come out of lurking to let you know that I'm here too and I'm rooting for you like so many others. Stay strong, be positive but don't be afraid to lose it every now and then. We all understand and we may not know you personally but our hearts and are prayers are coming to you from all over the world.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so glad to see you posted today, Michelle! I think of you often. Hang in there sweet friend! There's a lot of people pulling and praying for ya!!
ReplyDeleteTry to keep your chin up, Michelle. We're all here thinking about you and routing for you. :)
ReplyDeleteKeep your spirits up. Good luck in your booth. Looking forward to seeing the vanity. Take care!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how difficult chemo is-I pray for you every day and was glad to see your post today.
ReplyDeletehugs, Diane
Michelle you don't know me, I just found your blog a few days ago, and I am incredibly touched by how candidly you speak about your treatments, and disease.
ReplyDeleteAs previous commenters have said - Hang in there, and take heart. People are tough and can live through horrible situations, coming out stronger on the other end. You are strong, and chemo won't last for ever.
Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see your post today. It shows your strength and will are still intact. This all seems so unfair, but you are going through this with grace and class. You are allowed down days, but enjoy the good ones. Thoughts are with you.
kathy
I want you to know I pray for you often and am believing for good things for you and your dear family. I hate you are going through this, but I have to think you are encouraging others in more ways than you will ever know. God bless and heal you quickly! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and hoping you feel better soon.....
ReplyDeleteYou were on my mind last night. I prayed for your complete healing and for peace, comfort and some relief in the meantime!
ReplyDeleteBless your heart. Hang in there - this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, rooting for you, and praying for you. Your strength is truly an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to see an update and that you are on the other side of that chemo treatment. I was praying for you. Yay to no headaches! Your description of the room reminded me of a lady that came to speak to my church's moms' group years ago. She too went through chemo. For some reason, she decided to start wearing a bald conehead "costume" from that old Saturday Night Live skit to the treatment center. It made everyone laugh. So she kept wearing it to the treatments. It helped the staff and the patients and also helped her. At the time that she spoke to us, she had recovered and was then voluntarily visiting those centers and encouraging those in treatment. Her name was Sharon but I can't remember her last name. Anyway, I don't expect you to wear a conehead hat or anything! I just thought the story might entertain you. Enjoy your time at your booth this weekend!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are going through this. Cancer touched our family as well and it is all consuming. I hope for a quick and full recovery for you. Strength to your family. Take good care of you. Us moms tend to put everyone else first, don't we? Love and prayers to you.
ReplyDeleteDear Sister OH GOD has great things in store for you, wish it wasn't going through this trail to make you what he needs you to be, BUT a better day is coming. And for the down days he is there to carry you like the "foot prints in the sand" So it is okay to give yourself a break and take it one day at a time. I'm so thankful to your blog support group, they have great words of encouragement for you that blesses my heart as well, reading everyone I thank you! Being yourself is why we all Love you. Love kjp
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog for a while now. I am an oncology nurse. I was at a conference this weekend and thought of you. Your post about your hair broke my heart. I wanted to share a service with you that I learned about at conference. This is a sharing network for cancer patients which I think is wonderful. They actually pair you up with someone in your area who has the same cancer and treatment. The web site is http:/www.cancerhopenetwork.org
ReplyDeleteI wanted to stop in and check on you. I am sure you must feel as if all of this is happening to you and the rest of the world is just living a "normal" life. It must be frustrating sometimes and of course there will be some bad days. I think this is a time when you can just feel how you feel. If you are sad, it is okay. If you are angry, well that is okay too. If you are counting your blessings...well, that is good day. I wish there was something any of us could do to make the journey easier, but I guess all we can do is care, and I do.
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