Can you see it? No, no, not the light through my ears...the fuzz on my head! Watch out people, hair is going to happen! You are looking at about a months growth. The new chemo that I start on Monday will not effect my hair, which is a relief. Why is it a relief you might ask, I'm not really sure...maybe it's being a women, that hair is an important thing, but until you don't have any, it's hard to explain. There are a lot of other things that happen living with cancer and going through chemo, a lot of things that no doctor, nurse, or pamphlet could prepare me for...even though they try. There really is no preparation, just taking one day at a time and learning to deal with a disease that could and probably will take my life at some point. Reality.
I start this next round of chemo and it's 5 days straight so I don't know how present I will be during it or even after it. If I had been smart, I would have pre-written (is that a word?) some post...but I'm just not that organized.
I'm a little scared, but hopefully I will be ok.
I'm a little scared, but hopefully I will be ok.
(my little shadow in the background)
Today though, I want to thank you. You don't even 'know' me and you are so willing to offer up prayers. So many of you have shared your stories with me, either through the comments here or by email. That is so encouraging to me to know that I'm not alone...the support is helping me be stronger and to keep fighting. I can't thank you enough.
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you are brave. Really, really, brave. Not only for showing the world your beautiful bald head, but for fighting! Hang in there Momma, know you are thought of often! xoxo
ReplyDeleteI have followed you for quite a while, and now that you have been battling cancer, I have been reading more carefully.
ReplyDeleteI am a teacher and my 15 year old student has inoperable brain cancer. He is very special to me, I taught him in 7th and 8th grade and now as a freshman. It was my pleasure to see him well enough to take a date to homecoming this fall. He is living life to the fullest on his good days and making future plans. He tells me about the common things he misses-- riding the bus with all its craziness, playing football, wrestling.
Reading your blog helps me understand his struggle too. Even though you two are on very different paths, your words are valuable. Never doubt that! So my prayers include the both of you every day. Thank you for your knowledge and willingness to share your life with me.
You are beautiful and brave. I hope this round does it..praying and sending positive thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteWe will all be by your side, holding your hand in our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteMichelle, I'll be thinking of you this week on your next round of chemo, and hope it goes by quickly. I think its wonderful that you are sharing the journey you're on right now on your blog. You give me courage.
ReplyDeleteYay fuzz! I can only imagine how tramatic it is to lose your hair. Even though you know it's coming, how would you prepare yourself for something like that? Love your little boys impish grin in the background of your photo! He looks like a sweetie. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteDoll baby, there are so many people who are thinking of you, holding you close to their heart and thoughts, and praying for you every day. You are brave, and I will think of you as you face this coming week. My words cannot convey the ache in my heart for you.
ReplyDeleteTerry
Michelle I have read your blog for quite awhile now. You are a beautiful person inside and out! Prayers are coming your way, you are an inspiration! Hang in their momma!
ReplyDeleteGood morning! What sweet little boy. Praying and wish you a fast recovering. See you when we see you, take care of yourself. We will wait for you. (((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteStill praying and I think you look stunning. God Bless. Hugs, Marty
ReplyDeleteMichelle, I happen to think that photo of you is just amazing! I know you feel scared, but the photo says strong, brave and inpirational to me. Your posts on how you feel about each step you have to take, are so well written. I know you are helping people that you have no idea you are.
ReplyDeleteI feel positive this new treatment is going to be so much better! Just in time for you to have good holidays! Little man also is feeling the positive energy all around you! Attitude is everything sugar :)
ReplyDeletePraying for you!!
ReplyDeleteLove the photo! And yes, I see the fuzz - yay!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are, and will continue to be, in my prayers every day. Big (((HUGS))) to you!
Michelle: Every time I hear from you I get so inspired. Your are such a fighter and so inspirational. This must be very hard, at times seem almost impossible, but I can see you fighting back and that is amazing. You've got the support of that sweet little boy in the background and everyone else who loves you and 'knows' you. Your hair is looking good and I'm so glad this new treatment won't affect it any more. You are beautiful..Judy
ReplyDeletehang in there, it will get better!
ReplyDeleteany hair is good hair!! you look beautiful!
You are so right, that we define ourselves by our hair. I just became a licensed cosmetologist and get frustrated when I hear people complain that we cut off a tad more than they wanted. I want to yell at them to GET OVER IT, and be grateful they still HAVE hair. It sucks with all you are going through, but you are educating the rest of us, thank you for your bravery and inspiration.
ReplyDeleteI've been following your blog now for a few weeks and you are very special. Thank you for being so generous with your time and friendship. Smooches all over your beautiful bald head. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Kind regards, Jackie
ReplyDeleteGod Bless You and deliver you in perfect health.
ReplyDeleteNearly two years ago my husband was given 6 weeks to live with a diagnosis of colorectal cancer. We opted to deal with it naturally and adopted a raw vegan lifestyle with no allopathic intervention of any kind. Please look into what you could be doing for yourself through diet and nutrition to build up your immune system from the ravages of the pharmaceuticals. It will make a world of difference to your recovery, although it works slowly and your doctors will tell you it will not matter. Doctors do not study nutrition.
Greens, beets, and fresh vegetables of all kinds work miracles. Gerson Therapy, Raw Vegan Lifestyle, green smoothies, Budwig Protocol, etc. You must support your liver with good food to detoxify and you will be amazed at how good you will feel AND you will become YOUNGER over time as you support your body to rejuvenate.
I have never met you but I love your blog and care about you, your family and your health. Stay strong and prayers going up for you.
ReplyDeletePraying for complete healing and for God's blessing on you and your family.
ReplyDeleteYay on the hair growth! For some reason one of my biggest fears has always been losing my hair so although I have never lost mine I can kind of understand the anxiety that it must bring. I admire you greatly for sharing your story with your readers. You are an inspiration to everyone who is fortunate enough to follow your blog. May God bless you and your
Praying for you, Michelle, that this round of treatment will have minimal side effects, that the doctors, nurses and other hospital personnel will be compassionate and that you will beat this hated disease! Take your time in getting back....we'll be here.
ReplyDeleteBarbara in Missouri
Michelle, you are in my heart and prayers. I know from experience how hard it is to lose your hair. I lost mine twice during chemo treatment for breast cancer in 2005-2006. I will tell anyone that you don't know what a bad hair day is until you have experienced a no hair day. I was diagnosed with breast cancer again this spring in the other breast. So far no chemo! Keep fighting! We can do this! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI have you on my daily prayer list. I am sending digi-hugs and lots of hope. Thank you for sharing your story and your "reality" thoughts and feelings. You are a strong lady and I stand in awe of you. During your hardest days, I pray you find strength in all the prayers that are going up for you and that you will feel HIS arms around you. God bless. You've added alot of beauty to my crowded in-box in my mailings. I always look forward to your inspirational beauties. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful picture--love your ruffled sweater! ;)
ReplyDeletePrayers everyday, for all you need and more in this next 5 days and round of chemo.
((hugs))
Diane
I watch for your blog everyday, so that I can keep up with your brave struggle. I want to hold you and kiss that fuzzy head, like we comforted our babies. Your strength is an inspiration to us all.
ReplyDeleteYou look beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI'm adding my prayers to all the many above, for chemotherapy with minimal side effects and a positive outcome. You are so beautiful and SO brave ---- I can't tell you how much I admire you for keeping up with your blog and your creating through this whole process. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteI will be thinking of you this week, and if you are unable to blog, then rest and know your followers will certainly understand. You are beautiful in the picture. Thank you for sharing. Many prayers heading your way! Sarah
ReplyDeleteYou are stunning! I hope the five day treatment goes by fast and that your little "shadow" helps you smile a bit through the process. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you! As a cancer survivor, I know what it is like to finally be able to see hair again. Your hair will be so soft and beautiful when it comes in. I truly believe my hair is fuller and more manageable since my chemo. That is one less obstacle to overcome in your journey. I will be praying for you daily this week for you to be able to tolerate the treatments well. I am also praying for your family. Cancer takes a toll on the victim's family in a major way. Keep holding on strong! With God's help there is nothing you can not overcome!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that the new chemo won't take your hair and will pray it doesn't take alot out of you! You are a tough, brave, fighter. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteI love your little space, everything looks nicely set up and ready to sell. You are an inspiration in more ways than one and that little shadow you have is every reason to find the strength. I will continue to pray for you and your family.God bless you your an amazing lady.
ReplyDeleteThe face of a beautiful fighter! Thank you for sharing your story and your talent. Praying all will go well for you and God will keep your body strong.
ReplyDeleteI have been reading for a while. You inspire me! I am a cancer nurse at the moment I am teaching first year students how to be nurses. My prayers are with you!
ReplyDeleteOh, sweet, sweet fuzz....so precious and sweet.
ReplyDeleteHang in there Michelle. We're praying for you and all your guys. This week has to be hard so I'm praying God is especially near to you and giving you just what you need for the moment. Healing manna. Enduring manna. Comforting manna.
ReplyDeleteStay strong, you can do it! I pray the rosary with a group of wonderful ladies each Tuesday morning, I'll pray for you. I too lost my hair as a result of chemo therapy for breast cancer. It was just before Thanksgiving last year, that I was able to put away my wig and sport my new "do!" So I do, sort of know, how you must feel. The way I see it, this world is filled with cancer survivors, and you, and I, will be one too!
ReplyDeleteI just discovered your blog looking for Christmas decorations. Now I'm reading your posts. You are very brave! Been through cancer, chemo & all. Thank God I made it out. So I know what I'm talking about. God bless you and all your loved ones.
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